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Friday, February 27th

David Parker's Journal: 12


The mansion was built in the early 1920s on a bluff overlooking the Mississippi. The design was a combination of architectural influences best described as Pre-1929 Stock Market Crash Millionaire. The long, rambling, three-story brick building was far too large for one family, even one employing a corps of servants. The house was, however, perfectly suited for its present purpose: a private school that primarily served the sons and daughters of local doctors and executives.

I parked between a blue minivan and a red Mercedes roadster in the lot off the circular drive and headed for the back door. The formal entry was on the opposite of the building, seldom used but visible to the commoners driving by below the overlook. The back door was only slightly less imposing.

Hillcrest Collegiate had formerly been an Episcopal boarding school for girls. The school went coed in the 1970s, shortly before it ditched its digs in a part of town that became unfashionable once the mansions built in the 1880s by wealthy German-immigrant merchants were divided up into apartments. The school severed an inconvenient relationship with the Episcopal Church in the 1990s, not long after moving to its present locale in the house William Benton built.

(History is one of my interests, and I knew all this from reading locally published accounts of the area’s past.)

In 2002, the school changed its name from St. Anne’s to Hillcrest. It abandoned the school motto, “By Pureness, By Knowledge,” which if I remember correctly was drawn from the letters of the Apostle Paul. In its place, a suitably up-to-date and spiritually vacuous slogan was adopted: “Students Striving for Excellence.”

The foyer was immense. I stood there a moment, listening to the murmur from a lit class being held in the parlor, marveling at the luxury of an earlier age. The floor was covered in a faux-Roman mosaic leading up to marble borders. The walls were richly paneled in dark walnut, and the ceiling plasterwork was ornate as a Baroque palace in Vienna.

The school secretary appeared quickly, cued by the security camera trained on the door. Nobody can be too careful these days, especially when children are involved.

I told the woman my wife and I were moving to town and looking for a suitable private school in which to enroll our daughter, Lizabeth. I lied easily and convincingly. Though begetting and bearing children are among the few things vampires cannot do, there was no way for the secretary to know the truth about me, that I look like a man but am a different creature entirely.

The headmaster, a fawning transplant with a Bostonian accent he was careful to maintain to cow the insecure Midwesterners, gave me the cook’s tour, from the ballroom on the third floor – now the school library – to the new, freestanding gymnasium and theater built a two years earlier after a fundraiser Hillcrest Collegiate was fortunate to conclude just before the stock market bubble burst after 9/11.

Signs of William Benton’s involvement in Freemasonry were abundantly evident throughout the old part of the mansion. Pyramids, compasses and other symbology were crafted into the fireplaces, moldings and carvings in the richly appointed house. Still, I was disappointed in my hope to find anything beyond that which existed on the mundane physical plane. There was no sign of anything like the Masonic symbols weirdly glowing beneath generations of paint in the old Irish social hall downtown.

The headmaster chatted idly about the man who built the mansion as he showed me around, also managing to work in a series of clever questions intended to gage my financial and social status, as well as my family and my fictional wife’s family backgrounds. He was especially impressed by the fact that I met my wife when we were both undergraduates at Yale.

I caught myself frowning as I drove away from Hillcrest Collegiate. The book I had taken from the antique store, the one containing Benton’s bookplate, was beside me in one the passenger seat. Maybe Benton was a red herring, and the secret message Tatiana had sent me to discover instead had something to do with “Pilgrim’s Progress,” not the man who once owned the old leather-bound book.

At a stoplight I flipped open the cover, looking again the familiar Masonic images that had been significant enough to Benton that he had them worked into the architecture of the mansion he built on the bluff as well as the plates he pasted into the books in his library.

Benton had to be the key, but if he was, the lock the Illuminati were trying to get me to open was not to be found back in his house.

Bereft of ideas, I turned toward the cemetery where the headmaster had said I would find the mausoleum where Benton’s body was laid to rest. It was a long shot, but maybe the thing I was supposed to find awaited me in his crypt.

* * *


Posted by Michael on 02.27.04 @ 04:56 PM CST [link]


Friday, February 20th

David Parker’s Journal: 11

Music: Mark O'Connor

I woke up to a strange sound and sat up in bed, blinking the sleep away from my eyes.

Rain. It was only the rain. How strange, I thought, that rain could be startle me from sleep. But then it was the dead of winter in a part of the country when it was usually close to zero at this time of the year.

I was in a strange room. I looked around, remembering, my eyes settling at last on the female body beside me, naked, half draped with a rumpled sheet. She could have been modeling for a 19th century odalisque painting, except that her skin was brown instead of milky white.

I slid my legs out of the bed and went to the window. We were on the tenth floor of the a hotel looking out over the Mississippi, though there was no view that night, with the fog and drizzle. The streetlights along River Drive barely penetrated the dank darkness. The big casino riverboat lying against the levee, its exterior decked out with an explosion of garish lighting, was reduced to a vague golden glow, a penumbra of false promise that never closed its doors to the suckers, a beacon to the gullible, the hopeless, the naively optimistic.

(Not that I have anything against gambling. Whenever I need money, I visit the poker room on the boat, where it is easy enough to read the players’ minds to see the cards they had in their hands. On principle, I never take money off of people who can’t afford to lose it, and I try spread the losses around table.)

The hot water in the shower felt good against my body. I was fully awake now, my mind clear and sharp as a diamond. The sleep, and blood I’d swallowed that night, had done me good. I felt like myself for the first time since Tatiana’s visit threw my life back into the vampiri whirlpool.

The girl hadn’t stirred when I emerged from the bathroom, toweling myself dry. For a moment I thought she was dead, but then I saw the subtle eddies her shallow breathing sent swirling in the darkness – the sort of thing only vampire eyes can see.

I got back into my clothes and put a hundred dollar bill on the dresser. Feeling a pang of guilt, I added four more to it. But what was the point? Her pimp would only take the money. She might not be able to go back to drugs, after the suggestion I’d planted deep within her mind, but the girl’s problems were far from solved. Sometimes, giving people money is the worst thing you can do to them.

I went back to her and stood looking down on her sleeping form. Her body was sleek and perfect, not an ounce of extra weight on her, everything exquisitely proportioned and shaped – the curve of her hip; the way her arm draped down across her bare breast; her long, delicious neck.

She would never be more beautiful than this. The rest would all be decay. All humans are born to die. They’re dying from the moment of their birth. For some poor wretches who can’t find their way in life, a quick death would be almost a gift, a release from the helpless struggle and decline, the disappointments, failures, and defeats, the slow, inevitable spiral toward the grave.

The desire stirred within me, awakening with it the Hunger.

Watching her breath, smelling the blood pumping through her supple young veins, I knew that I dared not take an ounce more of her blood without risking turning her into one of my kind, or, moving beyond that, killing her.

Driven by a force I could not resist, I felt myself kneeling next to her, wondering with horror what I was about to do. I reached out and softly put my fingers on her shoulder. Perhaps if I touched her just one more time, it would be enough.

She moaned in her sleep, sensing me near her, wanting me again even in her dreams, and offering herself to me – her body, her blood, her life.

“You do not know how much you tempt me,” I whispered.

I put my hand gently on her head, but instead of pulling her into my embrace, I closed my eyes and slipped back into her mind. I had no right to play with people’s lives, to meddle in the privacy of their innermost thoughts, but once you take the first misstep and fall, is there really any point in stopping yourself?

I gave her a very specific set of instructions -- step by step, detail by detail. When to wake up. Where to meet the cab I would send for her. How to slip back into her apartment, retrieve her child, and go to the bus station, avoiding her “business manager” in order to return home to Des Moines.

When I was finished I added five more hundered dollar bills to the five already on the table, but more to relieve my own guilt than to help her start over again in life. My hands were trembling.

I grabbed by jacket and left in a hurry, shutting the door behind me, leaving the girl and the temptation before it was too late to stop myself.

Again I must confess: Women are my weakness, or one of them. And my heart is filled with dark desire.

Posted by Michael on 02.20.04 @ 01:23 PM CST [link]


Monday, February 16th

Calling all pagans


Any day the DSL man and hooks you up is a good day – even if it is Monday.

* * *

I’m getting deeper into research on my next project, which I’m planning as a trilogy set in Britain during the Dark Ages. If you have a knowledge of Wicca or paganism and don’t mind answering a few respectful but naive questions, please drop me an email, romkey@qconline.com">romkey@qconline.com, and I’ll be in touch.



Posted by Michael on 02.16.04 @ 02:04 PM CST [link]


Friday, February 13th

David Parker’s Journal: 10


Note: Today’s entry marks the tenth in David Parker’s Journal. As faithful readers know, David has a reputation for being a flawed man but a good vampire. And yet pressure of an ill-defined sort has been building in him over the past ten weeks. He is on the cusp of something that seems dangerous. Ten is an important number in numerology. Our system of counting is based on tens, perhaps for the simple reason that we have ten fingers on our hands. Once we reach the number ten, it is time to continue on at an entirely different level – or to start over again at the beginning. David Parker’s Journal, Entry No. 10, follows. – M.R.

* * *

I turned at the first intersection and then again on the street that runs parallel to the river.

My passenger did not seem particularly interested in our destination. She leaned back against the heated leather seat and closed her eyes. She was cold, tired, and stoned out of her mind. And at least the next few minutes, the young prostitute could enjoy the comfort and apparent safety of my Audi. If only she knew how deceptive appearances could be!

The office buildings gave way to warehouses as we traveled toward the edge of town. A slaughterhouse slipped by on the right, the ugly brick edifice partly hidden behind darkness and fog. A little further on was a cemetery, its last vacant plot long since filled, hemmed in by development that left no space to expand. I had explored the graveyard during my first month in town. I’ve always been drawn to cemeteries; I find it relaxing to stroll among the tombstones, reading names, dates, epitaphs. That’s how I knew the mound in the corner was from cholera epidemic in the 1800s. The dead had piled up so quickly that the safest way to deal with the virulent corpses was to pile them into a mass grave and cover them with earth.

Another mile farther on the left was a road leading across a narrow causeway to an island in the Mississippi. The island belonged to the city and was divided between a park and golf course that sustained serious flooding damage almost every spring. The city continued to repair the greens and reseed the fairways after each deluge. I couldn’t decide whether that kind of stubbornness was cause to celebrate or despair.

The island was utterly deserted on a winter night. I turned down one of the side lanes and parked under the naked, over-reaching boughs of a stand of gigantic oaks.

Lashonda’s breasts rose and fell with the regular cadence of sleep. She looked almost peaceful, though it was impossible for me to ignore the smell of despair, addiction, and moral gangrene her soul gave off. It is impossible to understand why some people surrender so easily to the pain of living. Her lips seemed made for kissing, and yet how much more of life was living it would it take to steal the bloom from this rose? Life was precious and time more precious still, the measure by which being runs out until too soon the cup is empty and the only thing left is the silent chill of a grave.

The quiet when I turned off the CD player – I’d been listening to Mozart, with which Lashonda had been less than impressed – roused her. I could see her trying to remember who I was and what we were doing. It obviously wasn’t an uncommon experience for her.

“I need a little bump,” she said in a flat voice. She dug in her purse until she came up with a glass pipe and a baggie. “You don’t mind, do you, sugar?”

I shrugged. I doubted it mattered whether I objected if she took drugs while sitting in my car.

“You want a taste? I can get you some if you want to buy. I got a good connection. We could have us a real party,” she said, opening her eyes wide.

“No, thanks.”

“Whatever,” she replied, suddenly bored. She filled the pipe and put it in her mouth. I snatched the burning lighter out of her hand and, before she could react, the pipe. I squeezed it hard, the sound of breaking glass muffled by my hand.

The girl shrank away from me, not afraid so much as stunned. The fear would come later.

“You some kind of narc?”

I shook my head.

“You owe me for that,” she said, indicating the pipe and its contents.

I started to reach her.

She pressed herself back against the window as I reached for her, the broken pipe and its contents scattering except for the bits stabbed into my right hand.

“Don’t you feel no pain? Your hand has to be full of glass.”

If I’d been her, I would have tried to get out the door and run, not that it would have done her any good. There was no place to go for help on the dark island, and at any rate she could never run fast enough to escape me.

“Lashonda.”

I held her head with the fingertips of both hands, careful not to get the palm of my right hand brush her cheek. The glass splinters were already falling out of my skin, the wounds closing themselves, already nearly healed.

“Look at me,” I commanded.

Our faces were six inches apart. I could have kissed her or killed her then – I already knew that if I tasted her essence I would not stop until her breath was gone and her coffee-colored skin wan and bloodless. The truly appalling thing to me now, as I sit writing this, is that I did not know what I was going to do. I was on the precipice, leaning this way than that, on the verge of losing my balance. She would live or die, depending on whether the coin came up heads or tails.

“Listen to me very carefully.” My voice was shaking. “Go home and take care of your child. If you ever touch drugs again, you will become so sick that you’ll wish you would die – but you won’t.”

I went further into her mind, racing through the sad and sordid details of a life misspent.

“Take your child and return to your grandmother’s home in Des Moines. Go back to work at Penny’s, get your GED, and stay alive. If you stay out on the streets, your future extends no farther than tonight. Will you do as I have ordered?”

It was a rhetorical question. I’d already been inside her head, arranging things the way I wanted them to be. She had no choice but to obey. She was helpless to defy me. No mortal could defy a vampire.

I felt myself beginning to smile. I had, despite my own worst instincts, managed to salvage a bit of grace from the night. I’d swung from rage to peace. It was as though a dam had broken in my soul, releasing the lake of poison that had been backing up since Tatiana’s return – though in truth the darkness had been growing in my heart since long before that.

My fingers found the CD controls and I turned Mozart back on.

“Lovely music, isn’t it?”

She nodded. She really was a lovely girl. Unsophisticated but unspoiled by artifice.

I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to hers. She kissed me back, responding to my touch as nimbly as a sailboat to the hand of its captain.

What would it hurt, I thought, if I had just a little more blood?



Posted by Michael on 02.13.04 @ 04:13 PM CST [link]


Wednesday, February 11th

Essential zombie films

Music: "Time of the Season (For Loving)," by The Zombies
Mood: Zombified

I received quiet a few emails yesterday from people commenting (basically agreeing) with my take on “Mexico” and “The House of the Dead.” That got me wondering:

* What is your favorite zombie movie?

* Or does the prospect of watching a zombie movie fill you with even more dread than you would experience at finding yourself trapped in an abandoned farmhouse, surrounded by a hoard of walking corpses, with the sun slipping below the western horizon?

Please reply here, on the blog.

Posted by Michael on 02.11.04 @ 01:06 PM CST [link]


Monday, February 9th

Saturday Night at the Movies


I was home alone Saturday night, so I decided to rent a couple of “bad” movies of the sort my wife doesn’t appreciate seeing. I drove over to Family Video and picked up “Once Upon a Time Ago in Mexico” and “The House of the Dead.”

Unfortunately, both movies proved to be far more terrible than I’d hoped.

“Mexico” has a promising cast: Antonio Banderas, Johnny Depp, Salma Hayek, Mikey Rourke and a Chihuahua. Critical note: The Chihuahua by far turned in the most credible acting performance. Despite the beautiful people and exotic settings, the plot is a total mess.

If you like movies where things blow up – and I do – there are plenty of slo-mo gun battles but not a lot of gore. All in all, a good movie to watch while you focus most of your attention on doing something else, like playing the guitar.

Official propaganda: Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

“The House of the Dead” is based on the video game “Resident Evil.” If your psychological makeup is such that you need to see a zombie movie every so often – and I do – “Dead” will satisfy your zombie jones. Still, it’s a particularly ham-fisted movie, and the attempts to link the movie up with the game provide some especially absurd moments. This movie has plenty of laughs, all of them unintentional. Still, zombie movies are like pizzas: even a bad one is basically OK.

Official propaganda: http://www.house-of-the-dead.com/.


Posted by Michael on 02.09.04 @ 05:07 PM CST [link]


Friday, February 6th

David Parker's Journal: 9

Music: Pull The Knife Out and Stick It In Again
Mood: Indigo

There was no shortage of places to park downtown on the foggy winter night. I pulled into an angled space at the corner and shut off the motor.

Two men in ratty jackets and knit caps loitered next to the traffic light, squinting at me through cigarette smoke. I got out and shut the door, turning up my collar against the damp. The Audi’s lights blinked and its horn honked briefly, a signal to me, and anybody who happened to be paying attention, that the security system had powered on.

I nodded to the men and crossed the street.

Around the corner, on the one-way next to a lavishly ornate movie place that had been closed since the 1970s, was a tavern called Mac’s. I pushed through the door, breathing in air scented with beer, tobacco and fried food. It was a reassuring, even comforting aroma to me, a reminder of my younger days, when I played piano in a jazz band in Chicago nightspots.

Mac’s was about half-crowded, but there was plenty of room at the bar.

“A Guinness, please,” I told the bartender.

Except for the beer signs, the place looked as if it hadn’t changed since the 1930s. It was classic tavern, with a tile floor, dark wooden booths along the far wall, and an ornate, old-fashioned bar running the length of the narrow room. A lot of businesses remodel every decade or so to keep their look current, but not Mac’s. For whatever reason, the place was stuck in time. To be honest, I liked it that way. It was something the tavern and I had in common, for I was also stuck in time. I would never look older than the night, a decade before, that Tatiana gave me the dark gift.

There were a group of Irish musicians sitting around a table at the end of the long room. They began to play about the time my drink arrived. I leaned on one elbow and listened. It wasn’t the sort of music I was accustomed to as a concert pianist, but I liked what I heard. I especially liked the guitarist – he had a sublime sense of rhythm – and the fiddler, who sometimes put down his violin in favor of an old Gibson mandolin. While he didn’t have the sort of formal skills a classical player would boast, there were times when his playing bordered on brilliant. The fiddler would take off on flights of divine inspiration in the midst of a reel and only return to earth upon realizing, as he invariably did toward the end of the solo, that he remained mortal.

I drank my Guinness and was about to order a second when a woman began to sing. The lovely redhead soprano voice possessed such sweetness that it reminded me of why I had come there that night – and why I needed to be gone. I stood up and put money on the bar beside my empty glass. It was almost physically difficult for me to leave. The voice had its hold on me, drawing me toward its owner, but for me the greater the beauty, the greater the danger. The Hunger rose up sharply inside of me, a passion almost too powerful to be denied.

A few of the patrons looked up as I hit the door, suddenly in a hurry, my hand slamming against the frame. The chilly air stung my face, the Night itself reproaching me for playing blood games. I had already done what I needed to do to keep the Hunger at bay. To continue to hunt was the worst thing I could do. I was still a little intoxicated from the woman who’d fed me at Border’s. My judgment was weakened and my desire grown sharp – a deadly combination in a vampire.

The men were gone from the corner. They must have found whatever they had been waiting on when I drove up – a ride, a woman, a score.

I slid into the Audi and started it, revving the motor like a teenager in a hotrod Camero. Part of me felt like racing, not other cars but simply away, racing away from myself. The car rocked back and forth as the RPMs screamed and fell, screamed and fell. The other part of me wanted to go fast for no other reason than to as a way to express the meaningless, wordless rage brewing in my soul.

Why had Tatiana come back? Had it been to warn or entice me? And what did mysterious Masonic symbols and an antique book from the Olde Curiosity Shoppe have to do with the vampire Illuminati?

I put the car into reverse, tires squealing when I jammed on the brakes and throw the gearshift forward into drive. I jammed the accelerator to the floor, sliding around the corner on the wet pavement. I wasn’t drunk – alcohol does not effect me – but for some reason I turned the wrong direction down the one-way. Fortunately, traffic was sparse on the four-lane at that time of night. Drivers in the on-coming cars flashed lights and honked horns.

Normally, I would have done what anyone would have done – sheepishly pulled over or turned on the first street, happy to have had the good fortune to escape an accident. But there was nothing normal about my mood that night. The other drivers’ alarm amused and inflamed my inner demons. I pushed the gas pedal back to the floor, grinning as the quick little German car rocketed toward and through the oncoming traffic. My reflexes were fast and there was no real danger except that one of the other drivers would panic and swerve into me.

I drove like this for several blocks before I regained control over the impulsive madness possessing me. I jerked the wheel hard to the left. The tires broke free from the street just long enough for the car to spin around and stop against the far curb.

I sat with my foot on the brake, my hands on the wheel, my heart pounding. It took several moments for me to realize the sound coming from my right was fingernails tapping on the passenger window. The Audi was stopped in front of a tavern completely unlike the one I’d just left. That much was obvious from the small crowd of people milling outside on the sidewalk at 11 p.m., a motley collection of hustlers, pimps, dealers and hookers.

The fingernails – ridiculously long artificial fingernails, lacquered blood red, and decorated with glued-on rhinestones – tapped again. My fingers found the controls on the door to lower the glass.

“That some fancy driving.”

I didn’t know how to answer.

“What you looking for, mister?”

I chose not to say, and with good reason.

“You want to have a party?”

It was only then that I seemed to see the woman for the first time. She was young and attractive, or would have been, if she hadn’t been so garishly dressed and made up. The woman was stoned out of her mind. I smelled it instantly in her blood. Her eyes were dull, and there was a little quaver to her voice that comes from blood pounding too hard and fast through the heart.

The blood…

I closed my eyes and gripped the leather steering wheel, holding on as if life depended on it – her life, in this particular case.

“Maybe you want something with a little more pop that Lashoda has left in her tired little booty.”

A fat man with soul patch and do-rag leaned in the window. She tried to shove him away, but she have had more luck pushing over a brick building. His enormous hand enough to reveal baggies filled with white rocks. I felt a pang of want. For a moment, I forgot that coke couldn’t still do something for me. But I was a thousand miles past smoking crack. There is only one drug a vampire craves, and it is no drug at all, except to the members of my race.

“Lashonda,”I said, my voice sounding far away. “Get in.”

“Move, fool,” she said. The dealer politely stepped back away from the door so she could get into my car.

“You change your mind, my man, you know where to find me.”

But I was already driving away with the caramel-skinned woman, the window up and the door locked.

Posted by Michael on 02.06.04 @ 05:25 PM CST [link]


Thursday, February 5th

Poetry


Here's are two poems from Petra. Enjoy. And don't forget to catch up with David Parker's exploits Friday. Best, Michael

* * *

Kiss of Death is upon my lips
I'm entering the world of eternal shadow
Let me kiss you one last time
And feel my blood, cold as ice, rush through you
With every sip of your blood
The ecstasy seems to grow, more and more
You cry, you moan, confused
The lust in you is growing, soon to break out
Embrace me, slowly, strongly
The light stays behind us, and we remain in the dark.

* * *
 
Let me taste your blood
Let me take you in my arms
Child of the night is calling for you
Won't you come, my love?
Tears of despair coming down your face
You're beyond any help,
Won't you embrace the night, my love?
Drink the blood of eternal life
Your heart stops beating, though
You are alive... 

Posted by Michael on 02.05.04 @ 03:05 PM CST [link]


Wednesday, February 4th

Death to Dial-up


I was getting out of the shower this morning when the doorbell rang downstairs. I went to the window in time to see a phone-company tech trudging back to his van through the snowdrifts.

I flung open the window.

“Hey, wait!”

I’ve been chilling for a couple of months, it seems, waiting for the phone company to arrive and hook up DSL service to the house so I can escape the horror of dial-up Web access. Now here they were, unscheduled and unannounced, with me naked and dripping wet, seeing myself about drop to the back of some waiting list down at the phone company.

The guy looked up at me.

“Don’t even think about leaving!”

I was dressed and downstairs in less time than it usually took me to towel off. And good thing, too, because the tech needed to get into the basement to access our telephone box.

Now I’m hanging out at the kitchen table, writing a blog entry on my trusty iBook, instead of being in the office, while the wires are being run. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

So, next question: How long will it take my Internet provider to hook up the router so that I’m actually in business? Since the newspaper where I work also owns that company, one would think the answer ought to be “pretty quick,” but we’ll have to see. I’ve already figured out that if you want to go fast on the Web, you have to be willing to go slow first.



Posted by Michael on 02.04.04 @ 11:13 AM CST [link]


Tuesday, February 3rd

Mysteries of the universe

Music: My brain buzzing from too much coffee
Mood: Magenta

Poor David Parker. As if our vampire doesn’t have enough heartache in his life, he has trouble opening CDs just like … just like me, and maybe just like you.

My friend Thomas has solved the riddle of opening CDs:

“Usually CDs are sealed only along the top edge of the case. If this is the case, here's what you do: Once you've removed the outer cellophane, hold the case vertically with the inner cover facing you. Gently disconnect the hinge at the bottom left. At this point, you'll be able to flip the frontal piece off the case, up and away from the disc. The strip is easy to remove after that.”

I tried it and – hey, it works! Another secret of the cosmos revealed.




Posted by Michael on 02.03.04 @ 01:40 PM CST [link]




February 2004
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